


The Definition of Home

by RoNask



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 16:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7647478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoNask/pseuds/RoNask
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scully analyzes what the word 'home' means to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Definition of Home

She swallows down the awful feeling that had been eating her up the whole day. Some could call her weak, she already had called herself that, however, at this point, she couldn’t care less.  
Scully knocked at the door of what she learned to call “her home” and waited patiently. She had her own keys, but didn’t want to use them, it felt wrong to do so since she left. She left, decided that staying away was the best move. Again. She was feeling sick now, her eyes were glassy when he opened the door to find her.  
“Scully, hey.” he said softly, surprised to see her, it took him a moment to watch her expression, before he walked towards her and held her close and on his embrace she let the tears fall.  
“I’m so sorry, Mulder. I’m so sorry…” she muttered against his shoulder.  
“Hey, it’s okay, shh… It’s okay.” he said before placing a hand on her cheek, making her face him. “Let’s get inside.”  
She nodded quietly.

He was breathless when they parted.   
At some point between their talk, the hurt and the pain, she kissed him deeply, kissed like they hadn’t kissed in an uncomfortable while. He could feel her sorrow, could feel her love underneath it too. Now, with their foreheads touching he wanted to kiss her again, but he felt as if they were back in years, when they were so young and so unaware of their feelings and suddenly they were and they touched and kissed and he just wanted to be with her and not to mess anything up, she had always mattered too much. More than he was willing to admit to himself on the early days of their partnership.  
He decided it was worthy, so he kissed her again, felt her sigh and felt proud of himself. He touched her cheek in a quiet caress, got closer to her. This was the woman he asked to marry, she said no in the face of the danger this could mean to both of them, but she never left him completely and he never gave up on the idea of asking again some other day. Perhaps he didn’t have to. As much as he couldn’t call her his wife, he was aware of her loyalty, love and protectiveness. Maybe a name on paper didn’t mean much after all, they had what mattered, what some legally married couple didn’t have and that felt like enough.

‘Home’ was a matter of feeling, not of place. Home was this feeling, the calm of being around Mulder, the love of the feeling of having William on her arms, the state of bliss of being around both of them. Her own little family. She couldn’t love them more, she could barely handle the intensity of the feeling alone. Mulder loved her and she loved him and they loved their son. God, their unexpected child, the great gift of their lives. It still amazed her from time to time, she had been pregnant, she had someone and, as hard as it could be, they loved each other so much. Being separated from him was so hard. It shouldn’t happen, they needed to be together, looking for their child, taking care of each other, loving each other. That was what they were supposed to do, home was being around them. Anywhere would do it, as long as she had Mulder and, soon enough, William.  
So she kissed him back and let herself love him again and again and again that rest of day, so she could feel the belonging, the love, she would feel that she was alive and not just surviving.  
They didn’t say ‘I love you’, they expressed it out loud, several times and that was enough for now.


End file.
